... when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

It’s amazing just how true this is when you find true love.

1 CORINTHIANS 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and al knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.  Now we se but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain; faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.

I'm at work today... just sitting here pondering, really. Avoiding actually working as usual. I've got a lot on my mind these days... with school of course... but more general than that. Graduation is coming up much quicker than I thought it would, and I was expecting this semester to go by fast. There are only 6 weeks left till I walk the stage. For the most part, I'm happy about that. I'm tired of the CoA, literally.

I've been trying to decide what to do post graduation. I could go back to school into Community Planning and graduate with my masters in a little less than two years. I could take a break and just work a while. I could travel. Nothing is really leading me in any serious direction.

I think I will probably end up just hanging around Charlotte for a while and working... get some of my loans paid off and rest for a while. I think ultimately that's what I need to do before I make any decisions at all.

I guess what's bothering me is I feel like I'm at this place in life where I've always had this path leading me in a direction. It's like the path just ended and, yea, I got a few of my goals out of the way... but where to now? It's like there's this wide open meadow staring me in the face and I could literally go any which way that I wanted to.

It's like there's this transition point for me and I feel like if I don't make some extreme move right now, that I won't ever make one. And that's not necessarily true... it's just what I feel like is happening.

I should really just smile and be happy because things are really great for me right now - and I am happy... just befuddled.

Ultimately, like I always tell my friends... I should just give it some time. I'm just searching for some course of action and I'm not finding it...

To A Friend...

I don’t know when I will get to speak with you again, but this letter is for you.  Your life is a pressing concern for me right now, it lays heavy on my heart.  I believe without a doubt that there is something that I can do for you, and I’m praying that I’m shown what that is.  If it’s only a friend to talk to, I will listen.  If it’s advice that you need, I will give you all that I can.  If you need to escape, I offer you my home.

Please understand it is my choice to want to be involved.  Whatever you need, it will not burden me – I will be delighted to help you!  

You are a wonderful person and the position that you are in is NOT your fault.  You do not deserve the way that you are being treated – no one does.  

Keep your head high and fight hard for what you believe in.  You are a strong person and you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.  I’m here and will do what I can to help… all you have to do is ask.

MINERAL SPRINGS

THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE IS FROM THE CHARLOTTE OBSERVER.  THIS IS A PROJECT I’VE BEEN HELPING TO WORK ON FOR A YEAR NOW.  THIS IS WHY I LIKE REAL WORLD APPLICATION PROJECTS… IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR DOING SOMETHING WORTH DOING!!!  I MUST SAY MARY NEWSOM HAS AN EXCELLENT WAY WITH WORDS AS WELL – LET’S JUST HOPE THE RIGHT PEOPLE READ WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.

URBAN OUTLOOK / MARY NEWSOM
In the path of Union County's growth volcano
Can a rural hamlet hold on to its vision, as subdivisions sprout?
MARY NEWSOM
MINERAL SPRINGS - I'm standing in a grassy field near the crossroads at the heart of Mineral Springs. A possum trundles past, untroubled by visitors to its country home.
I'm with Mineral Springs Town Council member Peggy Neill; her husband, Bob, who chairs the town's planning board; and Mayor Rick Becker, all of whom worry about what growth will do to their Union County hamlet. Becker points to an abandoned, rock building he hopes will someday be town hall.
"Who owns this land?" I ask.
Harris Teeter.
A casual visitor to Mineral Springs -- 8 square miles, population 2,500 -- sees cows and horses, pastures, crops, woods and the 260-acre site of the Queen's Cup Steeplechase.
Developers and retailers know better. They already know what a Census Bureau estimate released Thursday confirms: Union is North Carolina's fastest-growing county.
The result is that developers are strip-mining Union County, building subdivisions and shopping centers. They're felling trees, filling floodplains, leveling hilltops and choking creeks with sediment and -- later -- runoff from parking lots and other pavement. They're not building towns or villages or anything that looks like a part of a community. Union County's fate is sealed. It will mirror suburban Mecklenburg: Clogged roads, jammed schools, polluted waterways and ever-higher taxes.
You might say that Mineral Springs' location, in terms of growth, is about like Pompeii's location, in terms of Vesuvius -- except unlike Pompeii, Mineral Springs knows what's coming.
Inside the town hall, really just a tiny back room at the Volunteer Fire Department, I study a Union County map with all 14 municipalities colored in. A solid mass of color has buried western and northwestern Union. Mineral Springs sits at the southern edge of that lava flow. For now.
Becker moved here in the '80s, and the Neills 14 years ago. They and others on the Town Council want to keep Mineral Springs from being buried by the eruption of development.
To that end, they've slapped a moratorium on new subdivisions. They are working with a UNC Charlotte graduate planning class to devise and adopt a land plan and ordinances that might, if they are very smart and very, very lucky, give them what they want.
Becker and the UNCC plan envision a village core on the Harris Teeter site, with bungalows -- "something that looks like it was built in the '20s," Becker says -- and a much more rural, lower-density area near the edges of town.
But stopping, controlling or even just managing the flood of development pouring toward town will be extraordinarily difficult. Mineral Springs can't even control where sewer lines go -- an enormous frustration to Becker, who knows once sewer lines are laid, development pressure is relentless. He has asked Union County commissioners to let municipalities say "yes" or "no" to sewer lines. He says they haven't even bothered to respond.
Becker and Neill give me a driving tour. "You'll know where the town limits are," they warn, as we head past the historic Pleasant Grove Methodist Campground, dating to 1829.
We round a curve. Spreading in front of us are wave after wave of treeless, red clay hills dotted with large, unfinished houses. "Briarcrest, The Enclave," a sign tells us. "This is served by a sewer line I actively opposed," Becker says. Across the road, more trees are falling for Tuscany, a 390-home subdivision.
Elsewhere, perched on N.C. 75 on the town's west border, 1,200 acres are posted with a sign reading "Robert Pittenger Co." Pittenger, a Mecklenburg state senator, is a speculator who buys land, then sells to developers. The site, though it abuts Mineral Springs and the county land use plan called for industrial use, was annexed into Waxhaw at Pittenger's request in 2003 and zoned residential, doubling the number of houses it can hold.
Mineral Springs wants a future other than obliteration by subdivisions. But it's getting little help from its neighbors. Union County government suffers from an unrelenting leadership vacuum. With only a few exceptions, its elected officials resemble those residents of ancient Pompeii: They have no clue.
But Neill can foresee "the total destruction and devastation of this county." She senses the peril.
"It's like a loaded gun," she says, "and we're waiting for someone to pull the trigger."
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Drained

Six weeks of school left and I still am unable to decide what to do about next year.  Part of me is scared of letting school go… and the other part of me is so ready to see it go.  I know I want to travel a lot this summer, though.  That is tops of priorities.  I feel like there’s something out there that I need to see… like it’s calling me.  Now I just have to find it.  

Last week was pretty hectic.  I slept little because of my review this past Friday.  It went pretty well.  I think a lot of us are borderline freaking out right now.  There is so much left to do and so little time to do it in.  The overall feeling around the building is very anxious and tense.  I’ve seen too many people break down in tears this week… it just doesn’t have to be like this.

Work is going well I suppose.  I haven’t spent as much time there the past few weeks as I would have liked.  I have a meeting to prepare for this Wednesday that’s a pretty big deal – hopefully everything I’ve ordered will have arrived at the office for it on Monday.  

I spent yesterday at Wake Forest.  I went to see Grease with Courtney at Reynolds high school.  It was funny just thinking back to my senior class’s production of Grease – wondering if we were as bad as these guys were.  I want to see the video … if any of you guys know where a copy exists, let me know.  It would probably be pretty funny to play at the class reunion in the fall as well.

Afterwards we went to the Ecohouse to a party.  It was pretty good – but I was so emotionally, mentally, and physically drained from the week I couldn’t get into it too much.  This morning I went to see Will rehearse for his play some, which was fun(ny).  He’s so cute on stage.  

Afterwards I headed to Elkin for a bit to visit with the parents… have dinner… and now I’m back in Charlotte waiting on a friend to come over and hang out.

I’m looking forward to what lies ahead with a heavy sense of anxiousness.

OBX - 2006

Spring break, what better time to escape the mundane for an exciting trip to the beach?  And for those of you who know me – you know that the beach for me is like heaven on earth.  I just feel like I’m at home when I’m there, and this trip was no exception, with the added benefits of having my boyfriend there.  It has to top as the most relaxing and comfortable trip that I have ever been on in my entire life.  The best way I know to describe it is by closing my eyes, taking in a deep breath of air and smiling as it quickly escapes.  

Monday –
We got out of Charlotte sometime after 9am.  It was an odd morning.  While I was in the shower the power decided to go out and there I was… in the dark… soap in hair… no lights.  I managed to feel my way around and made it out of there without killing myself.  Cathy had come up to escape the darkness and so she went to eat breakfast with Will and me once he got here.  And finally we were off to the OBX.  

The drive wasn’t too bad that morning.  It was full of giddy excitement – our very first trip together!  A lot must be said for this.  Will and I have been dating for a little over 3 months now and in a lot of ways it’s a critical point for a relationship, especially for me.  Spending an entire week together, especially when its just the two of you, can leave you either loving each other to death at the end of the trip or so ready to part ways that you quite honestly don’t care when the next time you see that person will be again.  I’ll probably be seeing Will tomorrow night if you are wondering how our trip ended.  (Deep breath, closed eyes, smiling… sigh).

We make it to the ferry terminal in great time.  We were about an hour early for the Swan Quarter crossing to Ocracoke… so we wasted some time.  We made it on board and I ended up sleeping half the trip over to the island.  By the time we arrived it was dark.  George … hehe!!! … had called us during our drive down.  George was the owner of The Captains Landing, the suites we stayed in the first two nights.  Once we arrived he showed us to our room… let’s pause here for a side-story…

I just want to give some props out to independent business owners.  When we arrived George had the place lit up with the little white Christmas lights along the fence where you park.  We went inside and chatted for a bit… almost as though he’d known us from somewhere before.  George was extremely nice.  He told us to pick out some movies from the collection he had and then he took us to our room where he showed us how to work everything, where things were… made sure the icemaker was working, and how to check out.  The room was so nice.  You entered into a little entry hall with the kitchen to your right and a good sized living room ahead of you.  A sliding glass door led you to the balcony which connected to the bedroom.  To the left of the living room were the bathroom, a half-bath, and the bedroom.  Everything was very quaint… perfect!  Point being, you would never receive this type of service, amenities, or George at any chain hotel.  It’s the kind of place that makes you never want to return home.

After we settled in we headed to get some dinner.  There were literally two restaurants open on the island.  This time of the year is not the most ideal to travel to the OBX… everything is closed.  LOL!  But dinner was nice and then we headed back to the room totally beat and watched a movie and fell asleep.

Tuesday we decided to travel around the island.  We slept in every morning but the last, so we decided to walk to a local grocery and grab some stuff for breakfast.  George then unlocked the bikes for us (yet another FREE amenity) and we headed out on an excursion.  First, we traveled to the lighthouse.  We took some pictures and what not.  Will then found this side road that cut to the ocean and we made our way out there, not knowing the road was 3 miles to the beach it became deemed ‘the never ending road.’  We finally made it and it was gorgeous.  The most remarkable part of the NC coast is going out to these islands and looking up and down the beach and there not be another person in sight.  It was beautiful!  The trip back down this 3 mile stretch of road was horrible!  It was cold, the wind was blowing hard (35-40mph gusts according to the news) so we spent most of the way back pushing the bikes.  Once we got back further inland the winds died down due to the buildings and trees breaking them up, so we headed to the British cemetery.  We estimate that we traveled between 15-20 miles that day on the bikes so by the time we got back to the room we were pretty well beat.  We took a nice long nap – yes I took a nap and didn’t even wake up in a bad mood – and then we headed out for dinner at the other choice of the two restaurants that were open.  Then back to the room for a movie and sleep.

Wednesday we parted ways from George which was highly disappointing for me.  HAHA!.  We headed up Ocracoke Island and took the ferry over to Hatteras.  We stopped at the light house (which was closed – note to self – write letter).  We took our pictures and then headed for the hotel to check in.  We spent the next two nights in Nags Head.  I’ve never done this trip this way before – meaning having two sort of stations for departure and exploring everything and returning for the night.  It worked out really well.  On the way up we also stopped at yet another personless beach and Bodie lighthouse.  They’d put a fresh paint on Bodie and it was looking rather nice.  Will read that Bodie is identical to Currituck, minus the painted black and white strips.  The third and fourth nights we stayed at The Surfside Hotel.  It was nicer than previous hotels that we’ve stayed at in Nags Head, but nothing like The Captains Landing.  It was oceanfront and cheap, however.  After we checked in we headed over to Roanoke Island to the fort and the Elizabethan Gardens.  This place was kind of … interesting to me.  It’s all like some kind of giant fallacy; not so much the fort, but the gardens.  They tell you once you pay for your ticket that this garden represents what they believe the gardens of the Lost Colony ‘might’ have looked like had they survived.  The tour guide continues by showing us her favorite spot on the map of the gardens that happens to be the statue of Virginia Dare… and what Virginia Dare might have looked like had she lived.  Other points of interest were the “breathtaking view” down the axis of the sunken garden (I had many and much better breathtaking views over the course of the week) and the “ancient live oak” tree that they also ‘believe’ would have been alive when the Colonists first arrived.  I guess for me this attempt is like sitting on the fence.  Were going to put all this effort into something we ‘believe’ could have been like this, but we don’t really know anything for sure.  I’d much rather they just lie to me and say they found some plans somewhere and this was the layout they used for the gardens.  The naked statue of Virginia Dare also did not sit well with Will or me either.  However, the gardens were very nice and there was a gazebo with a really nice view out into the Roanoke Sound.  I’d also never been to this place and Will had, so it was nice seeing something new at the OBX.  Once we finished our excursions here we headed back to the room and took another nap – what can I say… Will has this effect on me.  LOL!!!  I always wake up in the best mood after curling up in his arms or him in my arms.      

Thursday was the most exciting part of the trip for me.  I’ve never been up the north side of the OBX before.  We decided to head up that way first thing to see the Currituck lighthouse and whatever else was up there.  The drive was pleasant with lots of new stuff to see.  This side of the coast is being way over developed with housing.  In fact, that is true pretty much all the way from Nags Head north.  And just so you people know, there is something extremely disturbing about a log cabin being built at the beach!  It just is not right!!!  People are finally starting to understand the concept in architecture that we call ‘sense of place.’  This is what gives an area its special qualities, makes it unique from everything else in the world.  Take for instance, New Orleans.  The old architecture there very much gives New Orleans a ‘sense of place,’ a quality that people will return to because it is unique, offers historical reference, and is specific to a certain region.  Another example is Charleston.  Here everyone loves the beautiful homes that are placed parallel to one another along their long axis with the huge porches that sometimes are bigger than the house itself.  We know that they were built this way for a reason.  When these homes were built air conditioning did not exist and by placing the homes so tightly together these porches stayed in the shade and providing cooling from the trapped hot air on the interior of the homes.  At night, the temperatures would drop sometimes quite severely and then, the trapped hot air kept them warm inside.  Point being, they weren’t just built this way to be pretty.  It’s served a purpose.  And if we were to take Charleston homes and plant them all over the US just because we like them, it would very quickly ruin what makes Charleston such a special place.  That’s why we should not built log cabins at the beach!  Also of note, the scale of these communities continue to be ruined with these McMansions that line the coast.  People, is it really necessary to build a 3-7,000 square foot house that you are going to be in for all of 2 weeks tops?  Most of the time you aren’t even occupying the house – or you shouldn’t be.  You go to the beach for the beach and to be outside and part of nature.  Otherwise you should just stay at home!  Scale here is extremely important and could work to retain some of the character and sense of place that these island communities offer.  This can also be achieved through materials like the white cedar shingles they use.  STOP PAINTING THEM ALL DIFFERENT COLORS!!!  HAHA!  Okay, I’m going to stop bitching now.  Oh and for Will’s sake, stop building Wings stores every other block as well.  They all carry the same shit, it’s just not necessary.  We past a few nice new hotels to stay at (note to self for future reference) and lots of restaurants and shops.  At points you are driving right next to the sound which was really pretty.  A lot of the buildings just don’t have the land so the literally build out over the water.  The lighthouse was my favorite of all the NC lighthouses.  It has this sort of French style of ornate architecture that the others don’t have.  The grounds were kept very nicely and it has an original brick façade not painted.  Our lighthouses are well known because of the different patters of white and black stripes and diamonds that cover them.  That, and because they helped to stop so many shipwrecks along the OBX, also deemed the graveyard of the Atlantic.  Another cool thing about this lighthouse was the little independently owned shops that had been put in these old renovated structures.  There was a great bookstore that got our attention for at least a half-hour or so.  On the way back down we stopped at the Wright Brother’s Memorial.  We toured the museum(s) and exhibits and walked to the top of the hill where the memorial is.  It’s quite a nice place and maintained pretty well.  Then it was back to the hotel for a nap, out to dinner, and sleep.  

Friday was one of those days I didn’t want to come because I knew it meant going home.  We checked out of the room and went over to Jockey’s Ridge, some really cool sand dunes.  I wanted to go hang gliding, but the day we would have gone was too windy anyways.  It was a gorgeous day though, the temperature was perfect.  We walked around the dunes for a while and then headed back across Roanoke Island to come home.  The trip back was extremely short.  When we got back to my place we caught up on the missed episode of 24 from Monday night and then Will headed home.  I was really sad to see him go.  I got extremely used to being with him; waking up next to him and falling asleep with him… all of those little things that let you know how much someone means to you.  I greatly enjoyed waking up in the mornings and just laying there watching him sleep.  I have to say we had a perfect week.  Nothing went wrong.  The best part, I knew that he felt exactly the same way.  When he got home he text messaged me and said ‘Back safe miss you already.’  I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and smile.  

Wearing Sandals

There’s something about days like today.  It’s like they have some kind of special magic with me.  I guess overall I’m referring to the weather and just the sense of comfort that days like today bring me – but, it feels like so much more than that.  I can’t quite put into words what I’m feeling right now, not to the point of having it remotely express the sense of completeness and satisfaction that I’m feeling.

Do you ever have those days that just feel perfect?  It’s not like anything special happened… I didn’t win the lottery, it wasn’t my birthday… it was just a day – but it was real.  I guess we have to have days like these to keep us going.  They give us that little bit of extra drive so that we might make it to the next one… and the next… and the next.  

I’m quite excited about a lot of things too.  There’s spring break right around the corner… graduation getting closer by the minute… new friends… closer bonds with old ones… career opportunities… and a love that grows stronger every single day.  It’s like all of this effort and stress is paying off.  Who would have thought such a thing could happen???